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Sunday, November 30, 2014

Holiday time

I wrote this on Facebook on Saturday, November 29, 2014: A holiday reflection: I may not have
much, but I'm here and have family who loves me. And I have some folks who care about my big head as I care about theirs, haha! It's holiday time. I'm not traditional, that ended after my late grandma went on to heaven. Turkey is cool but I prefer chicken and I love my mother's stuffing. I only have 3 members of family unless you count an uncle who I'm not close to. So we don't do the big family dinners, or have the biggest turkey, and there's no company who stops by. It's just us in our humble home, comfortable. I am poor financially but rich in spirit. For that, I am thankful as I continue to reflect silently and pray for continued peace. That's my story. Until the next time.

Holiday time has different affects on me. Depending on the holiday, I could feel at my happiest or at my worst. Thanksgiving is a holiday I tend to feel melancholy. It was my late grandmother’s favorite holiday, and she really made it special. Her cooking alone was divine, and the way she prepared the house was beautiful. Although I didn’t know many of my relatives, having everyone there was nice. After she passed away, Thanksgiving haven’t been the same. My mom tried to continue the tradition but it wasn’t the same. Many of my relatives were dying, and the few left moved away or we lost contact. Family for me is unique. I wasn’t close to many of my relatives. Sadly, many of them didn’t like me for reasons I still don’t know. The few I knew were okay, I think they tolerated me. After a while, I stopped caring and focused on making friends. My friends became my family. This is the same case now as an adult, except I don’t have many friends. Most of them have moved on, or I have moved on. Some friends are more like associates. We have different lives going in different directions. So I guess I don’t have much of a family in both relative and friendship department. I am grateful for my parents and brother. They are all I got. My wish is to someday be married. Maybe his family will become mine, and together we will be a family. I would like to know what that’s like. Being single is hard at times, especially as I get older. I long to be loved and to love. I want a relationship, not just random dating. I want to be a wife someday.

Christmas time I love the most. It’s my favorite time of year, because of its spiritual meaning, its sparkle and lights. I feel festive. I’ve had nice Christmases, and I hope to have a nice one this year. It’s the one time of the year that even if things aren’t perfect, I still want to celebrate the holiday. I make my own fun. This year is special because it’s the 1 year anniversary of my second hip surgery. Although my hip still hurts and at times gives me trouble, I am thankful I don’t need another surgery. I can walk and I will always be grateful for that. This year was a good year overall. I accomplished a lot of personal goals, and I’m doing well in grad school. I am in my 4th semester. The class I’m taking is Leadership and Organizational Behavior. It’s difficult and so is my professor. I can appreciate the challenge. By God’s grace I am passing with A’s on my papers and honestly I am surprised. There are only 3 more weeks before the semester ends. I could use the mini break before the new term begins in January.

I am looking forward to New Year 2015. My goal is to be working in the New Year. I want to have my book published; I am almost done with the manuscript, yay! I also want to buy new clothes and learn how to drive. It’s during holiday time when I become reflective and make decisions. I write my end of year to-do lists, and set goals for self. The most important thing for me currently and in the future is to be comfortable, happy, and at peace. I care about that the most.


Sunday, November 9, 2014


Through pictures, I tell a story. 

Every day there’s something to be seen, something to discover. I am discovering self. 

Some mornings I don’t want to get up. There are some days I just want to go by without experiencing it. Then tomorrow arrives. I wake up, say my prayers, and drink tea. I pick up the camera, the motivation, the notebook, my cane, and head out. I walk. I look up to the sky. The sun welcomes me as I take its picture. The day begins. I travel by mood. I go wherever the mind leads me, the sun is my guide. 

Appointments arise, interviews pop up and I go to each. I wait in the waiting room staring out at the window. I admire the view. My name is called as I enter a room. The process happens. I enter an office telling the receptionist who I am. She tells me to have a seat. I am greeted, shake hands, and enter another room. The conversation begins. For both experiences, I walk away feeling melancholy. I observe the new surroundings. I take a few pictures. The train station is different. I capture the train arrival as I wonder where to go next. The future lies within this city, somewhere in this city I no longer know.

I arrive at the cafĂ©, buy a latte, and sit at the bar. I pull out the notebook and begin to write. I write words that are within me. I have no control. The latte soothes me as music plays in the background. The sweet smell of coffee elevates the senses. Someone sits next to me, looks over at what I’m doing. I ignore the person. My shyness consumes me. I continue to write. Somehow I want to hide between the lines of the notebook paper to escape reality. There I can find shelter. Shelter from the emotional turmoil, this repetitive cycle of travel, schedules, appointments, meetings, exchange of information, discussion, applications, waiting and more waiting. The end result is the same. The situation remains. I stop writing. The latte is now cold as I take the last sip. 

I walk outside and look up to the sky. I take a deep breath. The sun begins to set. I take a picture. I go home and reflect just to do it all over again tomorrow. 

Saturday, November 1, 2014

It's Geometric

Walking allows one to see things that may not be easily visible to many. Lately, I've been motivated
to explore new territories and take pictures. Photography has become a hobby, something I enjoy doing on a regular basis. I find no excuse not to take pictures, but find every reason to capture the moment. It's those moments I cherish, because I will never experience them again. As a nature lover, I enjoy taking pictures of the sky, the sun, and clouds. I consider it God's canvas, painting a new picture within seconds. If one blinks too fast, he/she may miss the change. I believe the sunset is God's masterpiece with its blending of colors, and glow from the sun. I enjoy watching everything unfold before my eyes. I try to capture it all, but even I am beat by the quickness of the sky's changes. I also enjoy taking pictures of birds, flowers, or any natural landscape. I don't like taking pictures of people unless I know them and we take a picture together. Although people are interesting to watch, I am not moved to capture them. Also, I don't want to get hurt taking a person's picture without their permission. Who needs the aggravation? I don't mind if I capture a crowd of people doing some activity, or if I am doing a story on an important issue where that is necessary. Otherwise, people don't interest me enough to take their picture. I rather focus on nature or things that I consider geometric. I love shapes. I especially the structure of things, such as buildings, train stations, train tracks, or anything that catches the eye.

I like to travel. Traveling helps me relieve any stress or feelings of despair. As part of my healing process, I walk. I walk to help me put things in perspective, and to take the necessary steps to feeling better. It allows me to be one with self, and not get caught up in other people’s drama. Since I don't drive (yet), I take public transportation. I never liked taking the train, but I now enjoy it for its art and uniqueness. I also like its history and being able to see remnants of it. I love train tracks and the design of some stations. Its geometry fascinates me. I wonder how people built such an intricate structure. Who came up with the design? I think it’s cool. When entering a train station, I’m always on the lookout for discarded Metrocards. I collect them as a hobby, but also use them for crafting. With the $1 surcharge for a new card, I am surprised to find so many empty cards lying around. Lucky me. Once on the platform, I take pictures of the station, but not without looking for something interesting to see. If the station has an old structure, I take a picture. If there’s something like a leak, I take a picture and write about it for a news story. Being on the train is interesting. Since I don’t like taking pictures of people, it can be difficult to capture something without someone being in the picture. I remain cautious. Elevated trains are the best, because I am outside and the stations are usually cool to capture. I get to see more even with the occasional street art on neighboring buildings. 

“Brooklyn is my home”

On Wednesday, October 29, I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge. I made a promise to myself that after I recover from my second hip surgery (December 2013) that I would walk across the bridge. I feel proud that I not only walked across the bridge, but did so alone. I needed to prove to myself that I could do it. I never walked across the bridge alone. I love the structure of the bridge. The way the wiring connects everything together is amazing. Depending on where you’re standing, it feels like it’s coming at you like a web. I liked seeing people take pictures. I was taking selfies. One guy ducked his head smiling. I giggled saying, “No worries, I am just taking a selfie.” At the middle of the bridge, I stood looking out at the water. I saw Brooklyn Bridge park down below. I smiled, because that’s where I usually go to reflect. It felt nice to reflect from up above. I didn’t think about much. I didn’t think about anyone. This was an unusual circumstance. However, I felt good that I just went with the flow. I took in the element, and stood there in silence. The breeze felt nice, and the changing of the sky was even nicer. 
“Brooklyn is my home,” I said to myself. “It’s part of who I am. I will miss this place someday but it will always be a part of me.” I showcased my pictures of my Brooklyn Bridge walk on my Tumblr blog: It’s a blog of both my crafting and photography. So far, I’ve received nice responses on Twitter and Facebook. I recently signed up on Instagram which I love. Not only I get to share my pictures, but connect with fellow photographers, crafters, and artists particularly street artists. I love street art!

5 Pointz: Gone but not forgotten

On Thursday, October 30, I revisited 5 Pointz. It was a street artist haven of colorful works and creativity in Long Island City, Queens. Sadly, the warehouse that housed this great art is being demolished for another condo development. Ugh! This city is going to turn into a glass house! I wanted to capture some of the remaining art despite this tragedy. As I shared my pics on Instagram, the response was non-stop. I want to show homage to street artists, and my support for 5 Pointz. Their talent is undeniable. I like visiting Long Island City, Queens. It’s interesting, and I get to take the 7 train which I don’t take often. It’s also the place where my new favorite park is, Gantry State Plaza Park. It reminds me of Brooklyn Bridge Park, just bigger and show a different view of Manhattan’s skyline.

This city is geometric, because of its architecture, art, and unique flair. Through travel, I get to experience that geometry which excites me. With New York City changing by the minute, I want to see and capture this place one picture at a time.