I wasn’t going to write tonight. I haven’t been up to
expressing how I feel, especially as of late. With the exception of writing in
my journal, I feel lost for words. I don’t want to sound melancholy, even
though that’s how I feel. I guess the
only way to write is to write. I will let my words do the talking.
Hip surgery again :(
I went back to my hip doctor on Monday for a follow up. We
had a nice conversation. He examined me as usual and like me, concerned by the
amount of pain I still have. I’ve been exercising, did the injections, always
taking painkillers, and of course had surgery. He sent me to get X-rays despite
showing him pictures of the X-rays I got on October 1. After the X-rays, my
doctor said in a low voice, “We’re going to go forward with surgery and hope it
will relieve the pain. It’s either that or hip replacement. You’re too young
for that.” I agree and honestly don’t want hip replacement. The thought scares
me. I simply said okay and “let’s get this over with so I can live again.”
I’m scheduled for December 12.
Save a life
I took a CPR class last Friday with the American Red Cross.
It was a lot of fun and challenging for both my hip and performing CPR. I’m
lucky I had a nice partner who’s been volunteering with the Red Cross for
years. The instructors were great. I especially liked practicing CPR on the mannequin,
and using the Automated External Defibrillator (AED). I had to stand doing it,
since kneeling was harder than I thought. I also learned how to help someone
who is choking by applying abdominal thrusts and back blows. I am now certified
in CPR. I will be receiving my
certification in the mail shortly. I’m very proud of this, because I’ve always
wanted to learn CPR. Maybe I’ll save a life someday.
Reflecting by the
seashore
As I prayed this aloud, the waves became more forceful. The wind was blowing so hard that I began to cry. I saw white rose petals blowing near me. When I looked over, I saw long stemmed white roses bunched together near the rocks. “A memorial perhaps,” I thought to myself. They were beautiful. When I die, I hope someone will place roses (or sunflowers) by the shoreline in my memory. I stood watching the petals float around in mid-air and in the water. Out of respect, I didn’t touch them. Whoever left those roses had a specific purpose. I just watched nature take its course. I walked away and saw a congregation of seagulls flocking around further down the shoreline. For some reason, I smiled. Those birds fascinate me!
I wanted to stay a little bit longer.