A Setback Perhaps, A Comeback, Yes

Saturday, March 8, 2014

I took my second walk since January. This week, it will be three months since I had surgery.

How time flies, and how much I want to resume having an active lifestyle. The weather was nice. Sun was shining bright and I needed to be under it. I wore two bracelets I made from recycled items. I proudly took a picture of me wearing them. It’s a nice feeling to wear your own handmade jewelry. As I got outside, I smiled looking up at the sun as I always do. I had my mom take a picture of me. Then we took a slow stroll. I found some cool street art, and took a picture of it. I visited some stores, and said hello to one of the security guards. “Look who’s here,” mom said to the guard. “Oh, hello!” the guard said to me with a smile. He has been asking about me to my mom since the surgery. I was happy to thank him for that in person. He is a nice gentleman. Every time I go to a discount store, I gain new ideas for crafting. The possibilities are endless! It was just nice to be outside, browsing through stuff, and creating a mental wish list of things I want to buy.

At one point, I knew I needed to head back home. My hip has a way of letting me know when it’s time to stop. Walking back home was alright, but walking up the stairs was harder than I thought. I only live on the second floor of my residence. The feeling walking up the stairs is hard to explain. It feels like I’m carrying dead weight, causing a lot of resistance. I don’t like that feeling. Once inside, I sat down and looked perplexed. “Am I having a setback?” I said to myself. With weeks of physical therapy, I feel I would be getting better. I know I shouldn’t compare surgeries, but with my first one I was back on my feet (without the cane) in three months. This time definitely feels different. I still cannot take public transportation. I still need my cane, mainly for balance, and I am unable to be on my feet for a long time. Sounds like a setback to me.

Sunday, March 9, 2014

I reflected about this “setback,” I feel I’m having. I still can’t do much, and I hurt all the time. I don’t mean small aches either. Sometimes, I hurt as if I just had surgery. Today was one of those days. I usually feel bad when this happens. I don’t like being in pain, or feeling like I’m not making progress. That’s when it hit me. I walked yesterday. I may not be able to walk long distances, but I walked. That’s an accomplishment. I can go down stairs with ease when months ago I couldn’t. Lastly, I have a better attitude about this than I did the first time. I have accomplished more in three months than I did in a year (my 2014 goals). So, how is this a setback?

I decided not to say “I’m having a setback,” but instead “I’m having a comeback.” Every day I am learning something new about myself. I have become oblivious to my circumstances (housing situation, being financially poor, etc.). I am no longer concerned about anything except for my faith in God, my family, and striving to make my dream a reality. Anything else is a bonus. Every day I work. It may not be in the earning-a-paycheck sense, but I am working. Rarely, do I do nothing. I am happy with how things are coming together. As for this hip recovery, it is going to take longer than I thought. I accept that. I know I am making a comeback each day I exercise, I read motivational sayings (or write my own), and work. It’s a sacrifice, because I am alone most of the time, and I can’t travel to see anything or anyone. Yet, I am positive that that day will come soon. I look forward to it. I must keep believing that.

Besides, I am turning a new age next month.