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Sunday, November 30, 2014

Holiday time

I wrote this on Facebook on Saturday, November 29, 2014: A holiday reflection: I may not have
much, but I'm here and have family who loves me. And I have some folks who care about my big head as I care about theirs, haha! It's holiday time. I'm not traditional, that ended after my late grandma went on to heaven. Turkey is cool but I prefer chicken and I love my mother's stuffing. I only have 3 members of family unless you count an uncle who I'm not close to. So we don't do the big family dinners, or have the biggest turkey, and there's no company who stops by. It's just us in our humble home, comfortable. I am poor financially but rich in spirit. For that, I am thankful as I continue to reflect silently and pray for continued peace. That's my story. Until the next time.

Holiday time has different affects on me. Depending on the holiday, I could feel at my happiest or at my worst. Thanksgiving is a holiday I tend to feel melancholy. It was my late grandmother’s favorite holiday, and she really made it special. Her cooking alone was divine, and the way she prepared the house was beautiful. Although I didn’t know many of my relatives, having everyone there was nice. After she passed away, Thanksgiving haven’t been the same. My mom tried to continue the tradition but it wasn’t the same. Many of my relatives were dying, and the few left moved away or we lost contact. Family for me is unique. I wasn’t close to many of my relatives. Sadly, many of them didn’t like me for reasons I still don’t know. The few I knew were okay, I think they tolerated me. After a while, I stopped caring and focused on making friends. My friends became my family. This is the same case now as an adult, except I don’t have many friends. Most of them have moved on, or I have moved on. Some friends are more like associates. We have different lives going in different directions. So I guess I don’t have much of a family in both relative and friendship department. I am grateful for my parents and brother. They are all I got. My wish is to someday be married. Maybe his family will become mine, and together we will be a family. I would like to know what that’s like. Being single is hard at times, especially as I get older. I long to be loved and to love. I want a relationship, not just random dating. I want to be a wife someday.

Christmas time I love the most. It’s my favorite time of year, because of its spiritual meaning, its sparkle and lights. I feel festive. I’ve had nice Christmases, and I hope to have a nice one this year. It’s the one time of the year that even if things aren’t perfect, I still want to celebrate the holiday. I make my own fun. This year is special because it’s the 1 year anniversary of my second hip surgery. Although my hip still hurts and at times gives me trouble, I am thankful I don’t need another surgery. I can walk and I will always be grateful for that. This year was a good year overall. I accomplished a lot of personal goals, and I’m doing well in grad school. I am in my 4th semester. The class I’m taking is Leadership and Organizational Behavior. It’s difficult and so is my professor. I can appreciate the challenge. By God’s grace I am passing with A’s on my papers and honestly I am surprised. There are only 3 more weeks before the semester ends. I could use the mini break before the new term begins in January.

I am looking forward to New Year 2015. My goal is to be working in the New Year. I want to have my book published; I am almost done with the manuscript, yay! I also want to buy new clothes and learn how to drive. It’s during holiday time when I become reflective and make decisions. I write my end of year to-do lists, and set goals for self. The most important thing for me currently and in the future is to be comfortable, happy, and at peace. I care about that the most.


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