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Thursday, August 4, 2011

Dara Day 2: Freshness

The past two days were very reflective and refreshing. I had 2 Dara Days. A few months ago, I wrote about Dara Day, a day I dedicate to myself and do things that make me happy. This time I had a chance to go by the waterfront, and a park I love to visit. I get to be one with nature, and be one with myself. Lately, I've been desiring to be alone; try to put things in perspective and regain my confidence, happiness, and sense of self. I wrote in my notebook as I overlooked the water's current, I daydreamed while light rain fell on my head, I baked under the sun, and smelled the grass while admiring the park's hilly structure. I prayed, meditated, wrote some more, sipped on ice coffee, and listened to my iPod. I imagined and came up with new ideas. I relived childhood memories.

I desire freshness. I not only want to feel new, but be around newness. I feel there's been a heaviness laying on my heart for so long, so many things I experienced, felt, and cried over; it's been too much. I've been physically and emotionally beaten, left alone to deal and pick up the pieces. It's been difficult. I desire love, the kind of love that's unconditional. I want to be appreciated, embraced, and wanted. I haven't gotten that in a very long time. I want new conversation, the kind that's not one-sided. I want to do new activities, try different things with different people. Learn. I want to feel safe around others, not worrying when envy is going to rear its ugly head. Change has to happen and I believe it will sooner than I think. I have faith.

I love the water because it keeps going. Despite nature's changes, it continues to flow. I admire that. I want to continue to flow no matter how many changes occur in my life. No matter how much hurt or sadness I face, or how many times I'm heartbroken, I want to flow on. These Dara Days were more peaceful and relaxing than the first one. They focused on my inner-self and where I go from here. Time will tell. Stay tuned, I know I will.


  1. Hey Dara loved what u wrote, I'm not much of a writer but I've felt the same emotions before. I love reading and meditating which is where I found my strength. to accept life both negative and positive, the world ppl for who they are but most important myself. Going through the same period of loneliness made me stronger, love myself to the point that I believe there is no greater love than gods love and the love I give myself.

  2. Oh my goodness :) you hit the hammer on the nail as the old folks use to say. I can honestly say that I have been there and still trying to recover. God has truly blessed you with insight and wisdom and I am so proud to be your mother.
    Love you much......... :)