The past two days were very reflective and refreshing. I had 2 Dara Days. A few months ago, I wrote about Dara Day, a day I dedicate to myself and do things that make me happy. This time I had a chance to go by the waterfront, and a park I love to visit. I get to be one with nature, and be one with myself. Lately, I've been desiring to be alone; try to put things in perspective and regain my confidence, happiness, and sense of self. I wrote in my notebook as I overlooked the water's current, I daydreamed while light rain fell on my head, I baked under the sun, and smelled the grass while admiring the park's hilly structure. I prayed, meditated, wrote some more, sipped on ice coffee, and listened to my iPod. I imagined and came up with new ideas. I relived childhood memories.
I desire freshness. I not only want to feel new, but be around newness. I feel there's been a heaviness laying on my heart for so long, so many things I experienced, felt, and cried over; it's been too much. I've been physically and emotionally beaten, left alone to deal and pick up the pieces. It's been difficult. I desire love, the kind of love that's unconditional. I want to be appreciated, embraced, and wanted. I haven't gotten that in a very long time. I want new conversation, the kind that's not one-sided. I want to do new activities, try different things with different people. Learn. I want to feel safe around others, not worrying when envy is going to rear its ugly head. Change has to happen and I believe it will sooner than I think. I have faith.
I love the water because it keeps going. Despite nature's changes, it continues to flow. I admire that. I want to continue to flow no matter how many changes occur in my life. No matter how much hurt or sadness I face, or how many times I'm heartbroken, I want to flow on. These Dara Days were more peaceful and relaxing than the first one. They focused on my inner-self and where I go from here. Time will tell. Stay tuned, I know I will.