The reality

(I wrote this as a note on my Facebook page and wanted to share it here also.)

I'm not popular. I don't have a lot of friends and don't date (not by choice). I strive to be the best at everything I do. I earn degrees, get certified, stay occupied, research, plan, and focus on my future. It may not consist of being a socialite or becoming famous, but it definitely consist of new discoveries. I'm always learning something new. With all the pressure that's put on women, women of color, an African-American woman, I am forced to live up to what's presented to me. This is hard to do. In being a friend, it requires me to be there for others, listen and comprehend their hurts, needs, wants, mishaps, and overall experiences. I enjoy giving advice, offer a hand when I can, and smile at those who's used to seeing a frown. I love being that person. I'm fascinated by my peers' lifestyles. I look up to them, appreciate their struggles, and admire their strength. Despite our differences, I continue to be apart of their world. But in reality, I will be left out, pushed aside and forgotten about. I will be stripped of my confidence,  raped of my dignity, and left feeling lost. In reality, I will never measure up to these individuals, and be used for their desires. I will be talked about, ridiculed, rejected, and disliked for being myself, and for loving them. As much as I'd like to be apart of this circle of diverse mentalities, I don't fit in. This is the reality.