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Monday, December 20, 2010

My process of moving on

Monday 12/20/2010 

I have been in the process of moving on from negative experiences and people. I took several steps to do that. I changed my number, stop communicating from negative people, and focused on making myself happy--again. Writing, prayer, music, and spending time with family and close friends, have all helped me through this process. I'm grateful for them and those things, because without it who knows where I would be now (emotionally).

I was unhappy in my last relationship. I felt I needed to stay to make him happy or convince myself I was happy. Although we've been friends for a long time, and I loved him dearly, there were things that caused us to separate. I understood this. However, the manner in which the breakup was done was all wrong. And the revelation I received afterward was too unbearable. He ended up hurting me more after our breakup.

I've had a couple of friends, at least I thought, who wished me bad or stopped speaking to me over something that was settled. Not to mention it wasn't an argument or anything major. I tried to make amends but sadly they didn't want to. I'm a sensitive person, but not so sensitive that I cannot take negative feedback. I try to make amends with everything or anyone I deal with, because I absolutely hate conflict.

Moving on, to me, is letting go of any bad feelings towards people that hurt you. I don't want to have a life filled with nonsense, misery, or be surrounded by negative people. There's enough of that in the world. Despite everything, I wish those individuals well. This also applies to my ex-boyfriend, because we were friends for a long time and it's sad that had to end too. I'm not a hateful person, but I cannot allow anyone to mistreat me simply because they call themselves a "friend." Some things aren't right.

So here I am saying "hello new experiences and new people." It's a bit scary because it's been a while since I met new people (except my students--I always meet new students), developed new friendships, and had new experiences. I look forward to the newness of 2011 and welcome new friendships and positive experiences :)

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