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Monday, January 30, 2012

And so I realized

"Someday my words will carry into the hearts of many, may even amend or create new friendships. All I have, all I know are my words. They are me."

I posted this quote on Twitter today. It's been a week since I posted on Twitter and Facebook. It's been a long and very reflective week. I'm now in week 3 of recovering from surgery. I've been asked how I am, how I feel. The truth is it depends on the day. Some days are harder than others, both physically and emotionally but more physically. With continuous physical therapy, pain medication, and the use of crutches, I’ve adapted to this new reality. I haven’t felt down despite the fact I cannot go outside or walk well. In fact, I’ve used this time to not only reflect (as I always do), but pray, write in my journal (it’s been a while), and read the Bible. I also spent time reading books, listening to inspirational CDs and music. TV bores me, with the exception of the news (I love watching PIX 11 News) and my favorite show, Storage Wars. An important thing I’ve discovered by being quiet is learning how to forgive. For some time, I was upset with certain people about unresolved issues. I used to think it was easier to stay away and not face the hurt I feel. Sooner or later it must be done.

I’m learning to forgive all who have hurt me, and make amends with them. I recently made amends with someone I’ve known practically my whole life. Despite our rocky times, the years we’ve known each other are priceless. We both realized how important it is to maintain our friendship, and move forward on a positive note. I’m happy that has finally happened, because I truly love and care about this individual and he feels the same about me. I pray more consciously of what I want in my life and the people in it. I try not to expect anything from anyone. I’m learning to accept people truly as they are their flaws and all. I realized that being angry is a vice and something that shouldn’t be held on to. In fact, it stumps one’s growth and causes bitterness instead of happiness. I’d rather be happy. The books I’m reading have helped in this quest, as well as, explore further what I want to pursue once I’m healed. I’m learning a lot about a career I admire, the importance of self-care, helping people effectively, and being true to self. I always felt I needed people to validate who I am in order to help others. Thankfully, I no longer feel that way.

As for my Twitter quote, I feel my words define who I am one sentence at a time. It’s the reason why I started this blog and share my thoughts with the world. I believe words are what we make them to be; we create our own definition. When I’m alone, I feel all I have are my words because they are the things I can always go to when I need to express, or create something on paper. I feel they are the universal tools in getting a message across, and can affect how others feel. I believe it can make a difference to people in some form or fashion. I hope my words make a difference.


  1. I hear you. I just went through a marriage that ended bad. It takes time to heal. I don't hold grudges. And it's important not to. Time heals everything. Lean on your friends. They really help.

  2. I'm sorry to hear about your marriage, Jowlah. I pray you will find comfort and inner peace. I appreciate you reading my words and commenting. It means a lot. I wish you well :)

  3. "Harden not your heart or else you won't grow".
    One day at a time........