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Saturday, December 17, 2011


This is a quote from one of my Twitter friends, Empower UR Today which says, "Love with an open mind, feel with an open heart." I really like this quote, I feel the same way. However, what happens when your love has been compromised? Do you still love with an open mind? When the heart has been broken, do you feel with an open heart? Probably not. I speak for many of us who's been broken hearted, taken for granted, mistreated, unappreciated, and for some of us, abused. When the heart has been hurt, or worse broken, it causes one to feel afraid, bitter, or be more cautious who to love. There are many ways people react to heartbreak, and since I'm no expert I won't attempt to assume or conclude how others deal with this. I will only speak for myself.

I love simply because I can't help it. I've been this way since childhood. It never mattered how a person looked, what they did or how they presented themselves, I loved them for who they are. I still loved with an open mind and felt with an open heart. Despite how I've been hurt, I continue to love people because it's who I am. One of the hardest challenges for me is making sense why someone would hurt another. I don't understand why I was heartbroken. Why was I abused by someone I loved and trusted more than anything? Was I too naive or desperate to have someone love me? It's possible that I wore my heart on my sleeve, and allowed someone to manipulate me in the worst way, emotionally. Sadly, when someone abuses you emotionally, it can lead to physical, mental, and sexual abuse.Unfortunately, I experienced those too. It's not something I'm proud to discuss, in fact, this is the first time I'm writing about it. Some may read this and ask why I would write something so personal. My answer is simple. I need to release.

Release is very important when dealing with anger, hurt, disappointment, or anything you are unsure of. Holding things in for too long can cause more anguish and stress which doesn't solve anything. For years, I've been ashamed to talk about my previous relationships, particularly this one. I felt embarrassed, because how someone intelligent and loving as myself would put up with a man telling me, "You know I'm the only man who'll ever love you." I blamed myself for years and felt I should have known better. Thankfully, I had the foresight to leave him, and never looked back. I prayed a lot which helped me deal with the pain. Prayer was my release.

I continue to love with an open mind and feel with an open heart, I'm just careful who I let access it. Release is an on-going process. It's not a quick fix, but it's a step in the right direction. I'll always have an emotional scar of what my ex did to me, but I can move on because I learned to let go. I began to love myself enough to breathe, release, and be mindful not to wear my heart on my sleeve.


  1. Thanks for sharing, even though that must've been hard. I think I need to take a page at of your book and release, as I'm sure it won't do my future any good... It shows your true character to continue to love in the midst of what you have been through and I'm sure it is an inspiration to many, including myself.

  2. How brave of you to share something very personal and sad. Speaking for myself, I have released a lot of emotional feelings to the universe and I have my share of scars but I feel better every time I take the time to release them. THANK YOU.
    "Harden not you heart because you won't grow".
    Thank you Professor, you are truly an inspiration.

  3. I know you know that writing and sharing your thoughts and feelings is one of the best ways to deal with hurts, broken hearts, and abusive relationships. In fact it is a very good way to deal with anything that is on your mind or in your heart. No matter how long ago you went through something it never really goes away. Time and experiences can change the way you perceive it. You can grow or you can wallow in it. Writing helps to develop a healthy perspective and it helps to mend the hurt. It takes a lot to share with others. But in sharing you help not only yourself but others who need the support. God bless you.