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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

My door is now open

"My door is open, it's up to you to walk in," is a statement I've said to a lot of friends. Sadly, I was a hypocrite because when those individuals wanted to "walk in" so to speak I didn't allow it. This statement wasn't meant to be literal but symbolic. It was my way of telling people I cared about them, and I am here whenever they needed me. Although that part was true, I was there for a lot of people but I wouldn't allow anyone to be there for me. Isolating myself from people has had its impact on friendships, it's had an impact on me. I feel I wasted a lot of precious time by being all alone when I should have let people in my life. Maybe I would've felt the love a lot sooner. Maybe that love could have helped me deal with situations better. This is something I've realized over time. I've never liked being alone, I always desired being around people. I am a people's person. For the past few weeks, I've done something I haven't done in a long time. I opened the door. My friends came to my home to visit me. It was great seeing them, catching up on old times, and laughing. I love to laugh. There were hugs, food, laughter, surprises, serious discussion, tears (happy tears), new beginnings. I love them and they love me. One friend who I admire greatly said it best, "Thank you Dara for opening the door for me." That made me smile.

Opening up to people is not easy, it's a journey because you're not only being honest with others but with yourself. It's still a journey for me. I have trust issues, and not every person in my life knows everything about me. I prefer it that way. I like a little mystery; that would explain why I attract to mysterious types of people, especially men. Opposites truly attract! Love is a powerful emotion and if one allows it to enter their life, what a difference it can make. I'm finally allowing love back into my life and wouldn't want it any other way. It's the greatest feeling to be loved by people, especially by loved ones. However, there are many out there who may be afraid to let love in. Some may have been hurt and can't let love in right now. Then there's a selected few who despises love. I feel for people like that. Their heart has hardened. Luckily no one I know is like that, at least to my knowledge. My wish for all of us is to always have love in our lives. It can be romantic, friendship, marriage, relationship, what ever it is, how ever it is, love is universal. I'm lucky to have love in my life. It makes life more beautiful than it already is. 

My door is now open, won't you come in?

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