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Thursday, March 15, 2012

I won't stop

The reminisce and the now
I've been walking. In walking I'm reflecting on things. In reflection, I gain strength. In strength I feel better. This weekend I took a walk along Fulton Street  in Brooklyn. And yes "Fulton" is my last name but I take no ownership of the street. I always reminisce when I go on Fulton Street since most of my childhood (or teenage-hood) was spent hanging there. I remember my friends, the stores that used to be, the vendors and ice skating rink at Restoration Plaza. That's the first place my friend told me he'd marry me when I turned 18. We were in junior high school. At 18, I was off to college so that "marriage" never happened. Young love, sweet yet naive. There was an eeriness along Fulton Street. Cops were at every corner and people looked suspicious. It's no secret Fulton Street is known for its criminal activity, but this felt weird. I didn't hang around there long, but it felt good being outside.Yesterday, I met a good friend of mine in Chinatown. It felt great to see her and return to one of my favorite neighborhoods. She reminded me that I need to be where I'm "needed" and most importantly where I belong. She is one of the few people who really gets me, we are very much alike. I'm happy we are friends.

Life before social media: a thought

I spend a lot of time online, especially on social media. Sometimes I wonder if I'm on too much. Although I like it and enjoy talking with people, I feel a disconnect from human interaction. I miss the face to face meetups, phone calls, and in-person way to get to know others. I don't like to always be behind the computer screen, to me it's very impersonal. Before getting into Facebook and Twitter, I enjoyed meaningless gossip over the phone, taking walks in the park with friends, collecting rocks (yes I'm a collector, been so since age eight), laughing over foolishness, or having serious discussion over coffee. Geology has always been with me since childhood. I miss meeting fellow rockhounds or nature buffs discussing our beautiful Earth. I want all that back. Lastly, I've seen some things on social media that disturbs me. The actions of some people on the internet are uncharacteristic and immature. I feel jealousy, favoritism, ignorance, many vices that shouldn't be happening on a computer. I joined Facebook to connect with people. I joined Twitter to promote my writing. I'm not on social media to bad mouth, compete, favor, or disrespect anyone. I'm on here to enjoy the benefits it offers like networking, friendship, and making connections. Anything else, I'm not interested.

I won't stop: bye bye cane

I'm not a quitter. I've been told I'm too passionate and stubborn when it comes to something I want. This is true. I'm a determined person and don't stop until I accomplish my goals. Today I accomplished one of those goals. I left the cane at home. I wanted to see how I would feel without it. I felt fine. I went to the waterfront to reflect and relax. Although I can't run just yet, I can walk okay. I will continue with physical therapy to strengthen my leg but otherwise I feel good. Traditionally, I always stop at Starbucks and get a caramel macchiato before heading to the waterfront. That's my favorite drink and it always makes me happy. I love being by the water. Even though it was cold and cloudy, occasionally the sun peeked out. There were few people outside but I didn't mind. I had my macchiato and music.

Lately, I've had friends ask me, "Why so quiet? Is everything okay?" I know my quietness worries some of my friends, and I appreciate their concern. Here's my answer to this question. I'm okay, just being observant and focused on pursuing my goals. I'm also focusing on making myself happy. Without happiness, it leaves room for unnecessary sadness. I've been there.

I'm still learning. I'm still striving. I won't stop.

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